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The biggest challenge non-monogamous folks face is rather monstrous, in fact. And green…. As it turns out, neither is the case.

People who practice non-monogamy are more than aware of the existence of jealousy, and more than capable of experiencing it themselves. Or with Netflix.

Jealousy, while it can be worked with and talked through , is a natural emotion that even those of us who choose to take a non-traditional path still experience.

In comparison with monogamy, in fact, it forces a kind of work on trust that monogamous relationships bypass via the terms of monogamy.

But non-monogamy turns that on its head. Once possession is removed, the love between two or more people is no longer defined by what they will not do with others, but by what they actually feel and have together.

You are not being asked simply to trust that your partner will obey your mutually established rules , but instead to trust in your mutually established love.

Trust that a casual tryst will not threaten your love. Trust that a new partner is truly an addition and not a replacement. Trust that even as a secondary or tertiary lover, you are still cared for and respected.

Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself.

Do not be fooled into believing that the option to love and be loved by more than one human makes non-monogamy easy. It may feel like a more natural state of being, but nevertheless, as with all interpersonal relationships, hard work is not only expected but required.

While that does make logical sense, love knows not of logic, and as fate would have it monogamous and non-monogamous people can and frequently do find themselves involved, in love, and in relationships.

Is it easy? Refer to myth two! It requires compromise and understanding. Perhaps the parties involved agree that the monogamous partner will continue to practice monogamy while the non-monogamous partner is free to practice a form of non- monogamy.

Example: I dated a man who was monogamous by nature, and was so with me, but was comfortable with my having a girlfriend in addition to our relationship, even though my relationship with her did not involve him [read: no threesomes.

Similarly, perhaps an ordinarily monogamous partner will test and stretch their limits, agreeing to a mostly monogamous relationship with a swingers party here or a threesome there on occasion.

At the end of the day we are all more than the labels we assign ourselves, and people who may seem unlikely to mesh on paper can and do attract.

As long as trust, respect and consent are part of the formula, a mono and a poly can surely make it work. To the monogamous world, two people who essentially belong to each other is the only kind of fathomable commitment in existence.

Since non-monogamous relationships function without the ideas of possession in play, some feel that this means commitment cannot and does not exist.

Commitment absolutely can and does exist within non-monogamous relationships. Take the earlier example. My boyfriend was committed to me.

I was committed to him. I was also committed to my girlfriend. She was committed to me. She was also committed to her boyfriend. He was committed to her.

Conventional relationship ideals may claim this is ludicrous, but think of the structure of a family. Think of a mother who has more than one child.

Does the arrival of baby number two mean that suddenly baby number one is getting tossed aside? So it looks like this thing between us is coming to a close, as your little brother will be arriving in just a few short weeks.

I hope we can still be friends. Multiple relationships can exist, all of them committed. This can be, but is not always the case. There are different types of non-monogamy, some where all parties involved are absolutely equal - in terms of love and commitment, that is - some where they are not.

The following are some but not all examples of non-monogamous relationships. These two people are committed to each other, and each other alone.

The terms may vary, but typically it means that while the two can pursue physical thrills outside of the relationship, their loyalty lies with their respective partner alone.

Very similar to an open relationship , there is a primary couple and they are loyal to each other alone. This can even be considered a type of open relationship, but it is characterized by the couple exploring pursuits outside their relationship together, if not always simultaneously.

Read swinger stories from real swingers. Unlike the open relationship, a polyamorous relationship allows for multiple relationships multiple loves, if you will at the same time.

Other relationships, while they may indeed be loving, will not take precedence over the primary relationship. Here there are multiple relationships but without hierarchy.

The relationships may intermingle, they may not. Group relationships may form, they may not. And they may as well in hierarchal poly, I might add.

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