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According to Dr. In some cases, these fantasies may be rooted in a desire to explore your sexuality or gender identity and presentation.

However, experts say in most cases it stems from a desire to be comfortable in your skin with a partner. Communication, as always, is key to learning if your gender bending or sexual fluidity fantasies mesh with the likes of your partner.

While you might learn a thing or two about what you want in real life from your dirty thoughts, there are many other reasons people have sexual fantasies.

The main difference is the frequency with which they have a certain fantasy. For instance, men are more likely than other genders to have multi-partner or taboo fantasies.

Women are most likely to have BDSM or romance fantasies, and have them more frequently than other genders. Survey results reveal that while 77 percent of Americans want to incorporate their fantasies into their actual sex lives, less than 20 percent have broached the topic with a partner.

Sexual fantasies are a normal part of life. Some may be hot only as fantasy. Others might be things you want to test out in real life. Otherwise, take a deep breath and talk to your partner.

In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.

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People who are into erotic asphyxiation say it can heighten sexual arousal and make orgasms more intense. But breath play isn't without its risks —….

Shape, stimulation, strength, safety, and… to splurge or not to splurge? There is a myth that it's connected to masturbation, and a a handful of recorded….

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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Overview Main categories Multi-partner sex Power, control, or rough sex Novelty, adventure, and variety Non-monogamy Taboo and forbidden sex Passion and romance Erotic flexibility What's the point?

It varies How to talk about it Takeaway Share on Pinterest. Thoughts are not realities; you're the one she wants inside her. Same goes for your thoughts, so drop the guilt and enjoy them.

Many women told us they secretly enjoy frequent battery-powered pleasure — and in our survey, 23 percent said they hide sex toys from their mate.

Too bad — men like to watch. Ask the staff plenty of questions; they're used to it. If something turns her or you on, go for it. Try the We-Vibe Sync, created for couples.

Its C-shape stimulates her clitoris and G-spot during sex. You'll feel the sensation as well. Buy it here.

More than four in 10 women admit this. Don't confront her; instead, ask what she likes, or better yet, have her show you, says sex therapist David Ortmann, L.

Say, "I'd love to watch you touch yourself — it would be so hot and help me learn how to touch you.

While she's masturbating, kiss her neck, touch her nipples, caress the back of her knees. Note what she looks like when she comes, and copy some of her touch techniques.

Ask easy questions so she can stay in the moment, says psychologist Erica Marchand, Ph. Seven out of 10 women are eager to try something new.

Many women said they were interested in trying rimming, as well as "crazy, crazy wild positions. Would be funny just to try them! Make sexual "menus," suggests sex therapist Michael Aaron.

You each write down types of sex you're excited to try green light , curious but nervous to try yellow , or that are off-limits red.

Then you each pick one green and one yellow from the other's menu. Want to help and still watch?

Service yourself at the same time, says Gardos. It's one of the biggest visual turn-ons for women. The turn-on: Society encourages a woman to see herself as an object of desire; being restrained, submissive, and spanked allows her to act that out, says Carol Queen, Ph.

Bonus: A sharp spank on her bum can stimulate the nerve endings in her vagina. Make it happen: During a playful makeout session, gently grab her wrists and pin them down above her head, says Ava Cadell, Ph.

Use your free hand to explore her body. Next, tie her wrists together with a rope of paper towels knowing the bonds are breakable is reassuring for first-timers.

The turn-on: Public sex makes a woman self-aware of the highly erotic energy she has, says Queen. Make it happen: Risk it in the safety of your bedroom.

Replace dirty talk with some voyeuristic scene setting a high-rise hotel room, say, or a glass-walled penthouse , and then tell her you know she likes to be watched and that you've left the drapes open, says Gardos.

Soon she'll be ready for a public place. The turn-on: Think women can't be turned on visually?

For many of Cadell's clients, sometimes just talking about the fantasy is satisfying enough. These games give you a framework for doing just that.

Fantasy is all about escape. So take the opportunity to be someone else in the bedroom the next time you and your partner are feeling playful.

What many of Rapini's couples say they crave in their fantasies is "deviant or on the fringe behavior.

Then give BDSM a try. Just make sure you've had an honest conversation with your partner about it first, making sure to discuss what it is, what you want, and how far you're willing to go.

Sometimes it's doing everything but sex that really turns Rapini's clients on, she says. And there are plenty of fun ways to tempt and tease.

Weight Loss. United States. And yet when people fantasized about someone else, it did not have positive or negative effects on relationship behaviors, consistent with the previous experiment.

Finally, researchers asked couples to keep more detailed diaries for 6 weeks. This time, participants regularly recorded every time they fantasized about their partners, as well as their desire to engage in sex with them, their positive and negative perceptions about the relationship, and their relationship promoting behaviors.

The diaries confirmed that, when people fantasize about their partners, it enhances the appeal of that person as well as the relationship as a whole, thereby reducing negative feelings.

Increasing the appeal of the overall relationship helped participants to see their relationships as more valuable, and they invested in them further as a result.

Still, the takeaway for long-term love is to make more of a conscious effort to have these sexual fantasies, and maybe even tell each other about them.

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The turn-on: Think women can't be turned on visually? A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal just 2 minutes into an erotic flick.

In fact, she's no porn neophyte: Of the women polled, 40 percent admitted to watching porn or visiting porn Web sites when they're home alone.

Make it happen: Don't start with hardcore titles, says Victoria Zdrok, Ph. Start with a tasteful but highly erotic film, such as Lust, Caution.

Next time, suggest a visit to the adult-video store together or skip the late-night news and scan some porn sites. The turn-on: The reasons are simple, says Gardos.

She wants to fulfill your fantasy and, more important, "The more stimuli, the better the orgasm. Make it happen: First, use sex toys to create a threesome fantasy.

Explore it further: Visit a strip club together. If you both love watching each other enjoying lap dances, then it's time to discuss taking it to the next level.

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